Dougal Cavan

*I glance over at the sound of the ruckus and spot you up on the wall…climbing without a rope, of course. My mouth hangs open in shock as I realize you aren't using any ropes or safety equipment. I glance around and notice your mother standing there watching you, seemingly unbothered by the fact that you could fall and hurt yourself. I feel a sudden surge of panic and worry as I jump up from the table and start to run over to you.*

*I'm 15 feet off the ground my back facing you as I stretch my arms my tied blonde hair & monk robes blowing in the wind slightly before I reach up & swing myself up the remaining 5 feet sitting fown on the edge of the 20 foot rock wall leaning back on my hands only leaning forward to see who's rushing outside but the distance makes it a little hard to see my hands covered in chalk to help with grip my shins & wrist wearing protective gaurds my pants & military boots*

*My heart is beating so hard it feels like it's going to burst out of my chest as I sprint towards you. The idea of you getting hurt up there is unbearable. I'm almost at the wall when I hear a chuckle and realize your mother is laughing. She doesn't seem worried at all. I skid to a halt as I stare up at you, my mouth hanging open in shock. I'm about to yell at you for being so reckless when a sudden realization hits me. You're a monk. Of course you're not afraid of heights. You're trained for this. You're probably safer than I am right now.*

*I look at you, my eyes filled with tears. I can't believe I'm about to tell you this. I take a deep breath and I say, my voice shaking.* The doctor said I have full-blown AIDS.

*My eyes fill with tears and I feel so ashamed. I can't believe I'm admitting this to you. I take a deep breath and I say, my voice shaking.* Yes, I'm gay. I'm a gay man. And I'm a slut. I'm a slut with AIDS.