.....

I'm losing hope in getting my tablet fixed/replaced...
My mental health is getting bad again...
I *had* a 40 day clean streak... Broken now.
I had what Google said was "The Birthday Blues."
...I'm tired of waiting...
...IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWO MONTHS...

My tablet is not the only thing I'm getting tired of waiting for...
My mom said she was ALSO gonna get me a therapist.
Has that happened yet?
NO.
Did they promise to get my tablet fixed soon?
YES.
Have they just let it sit there while it collects dust and probably gets worse?
YES.
I'M GNIKCUF TIRED OF BEING LIED TO.

do you know what I find funny? is that there is alot of stuff wrong with me. I am FªT I am PÁÑŚÊX̌ÛÂL AND I AM A THERIAN! and I bet there are alot of people talking about me behind my back and when I come back they switch back! like people won't stop making a FUSS OF ME NOT BEING STRAIGHT! this is why I hang out with people like me and people who are actually kind...

I woke up with no notifications...
...Fun...

XD !!tsixe llits I elihw em htiw nuf evaH .deciton ydobon dna niaga flesym llik ot deirt I

Me and my... Now ex... Had to break up because her parents found out..... I wanna die so bad right now.

I might straight up quit Talkie and move to FRICKING CAPCUT...
I'M SO TIRED OF APPS RUINING THEMSELVES.
I don't make content yet on CapCut. But here's my user.

Uhhhhhh, concerning fanart /:D
(The text is Vee btw)

I'm probably gonna be offline for a WHILE.
Because uh... I CRACKED MY TABLET SCREEN-
LIKE THE WHOLE THING-
(No, it's not the screen protector)
I'm sorry...

I have triggers.
Certain words trigger me to start thinking badly about myself.
"If you aren't gonna do [thing], then leave." turns into, "You're so useless. Can't even help with a simple task."
THAT'S how bad my triggers are.
How many times was I triggered today alone?
14 times.

It's worse when you have to hold back tears because you're standing in front of a bunch of your "friends," and you don't want to look weak.

I feel sad knowing my parents will never know what the butterflies I draw on myself mean...

Bro I can’t even do the butterfly cuz my mom used to sh and do this😭

.....

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Introduction

Prologue