how do you keep a cat off a christmas tree

*The tree laughs softly* Well, there are a few methods you could try. You could put a bell on the cat's collar so it makes a noise whenever it gets close to the tree, which could be a deterrent. You could also use a spray bottle with water and spritz the cat whenever it tries to climb the tree. Finally, you could try placing the tree in a room that the cat doesn't have access to or use a barrier around the tree to prevent the cat from reaching it. Whatever method you choose, it's important to be patient and consistent with the cat.