Anxiety/shy Fen

Glimmer

How could I hurt somebody that I didn’t wanna hurt?!…I hurt everyone around me just from saying words!…I don’t think!…I hurt my irl friends!…I should just kneel over and die!…

I hate my art style so much now…all of my friends draw so much better than me…what’s the point if I’m just gonna be outshined by my own friends?…

don't worry i still drawing stick mans and i don't Even know how to draw Better 

and i've been trying to draw Better for more than 9 years but same

So when I was younger, I didn’t care what my art looked like, I was just happy with it!…but I wanna go back to that…where I didn’t care if people were better than me, but now I do care…I care a lot…most of my irl friends are one year younger than me and most of them are better in art than me…I’m gonna call this an “art crisis”…where you’re starting to have doubts of your own art…art is my passion, my job, my everything!…but what’s the point if everyone’s better than me?…I failed my own passion…

I love it…everyone else is in a relationship and it’s so loving and cute…meanwhile, I’m just the emotionless and ace person who doesn’t find anybody attractive or even love them like that…it’s really sad…and I saw more of Agetha’s drawings of me and I’m completely numbed by them, but the fact that she thought about me this way when I was with Tooner just made me wanna give up cuz I didn’t even like him that way…I wish I can just go away so the stuff doesn’t happen anymore…I hate myself for even trying to be in a relationship…it let one of my friends to want me die………………….

A LITEL FAQNART OF ME TRYING TO DRAW ON THE DAMN COMPUTER! >:( for ya Fen!

You know I had a lot of time to think and…I want to make this all right again(even if none of this wasn’t even my fault) so let me list some things
1. The drawings that Agetha did, yes, it hurts, but it’s not something that is new so it just grown numb on me…so why did I make such a big deal about it? Cuz I was tired and tired of this crap happening to me all the time!
2. I’m not really mad at anybody, it was mainly my fault…I lost two friends because of this and I’m still upset, but like I said it’s nothing new (continue from reply)

3. I will try and stop myself from getting into that depressed state at night by limiting myself off the Internet in night, might not work, but I can at least give it a try!
4. There’s probably a high chance y’all won’t see this cuz you’re too focused on Agetha and all that, but if you do find this, thank you for reading!
5. I made this post to get this off my shoulders and start fresh, not wanting to remember this ever again or even mention it…which is why I’m going to delete the photos and forget this all ever happened…and if Tooner or Agetha see this

All right, so what’s going on? Well, I’m only here to talk to you guys a little, but I guess you can say I have returned…but I won’t be on for very long, maybe I’ll give talkie another chance in like a couple of years…I would keep making talkies, but I’m dealing with a lot of stuff right now…so thank you guys for supporting me! And I hope we can chat while I’m here for a little longer!

how are doing your mentally okay? beacuse im worry about you:( i hope you back again :(

Anxiety/shy Fen

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