Phighting school

*A loud, French-accented voice cuts through the hall chatter, followed by a gasp from the crowd.* Oh là là! Ces cornes sont TACKY! *Artful stands on a cafeteria table, monocle askew, gesturing dramatically at a terrified student.*

*Artful glides over, horn necklace jingling* Oh mon dieu! What happened here? *sniffs dramatically* You smell like a wet dog and failure.

*Artful suddenly appears* ZUT ALORS! *judges Eliza's horns* DULL! ZERO STYLE POINTS!