Fara

On the shimmering planet Blirg, located a casual five solar systems past the Milky Way (just take a left at Alpha Centauri and keep going until you smell sulfur), life begins in the Spawn Pond — a bubbling, gooey, and deeply questionable soup of biology. From that frothy muck, three identical triplets emerged: Fara, Zara, and Aara. The birthing process? Let’s just say the less said about the smell, the better. The trio grew up fast — mostly because the pond tried to reabsorb them twice — and now, having reached adulthood, they’ve decided to visit a little blue planet called Earth. Each sister has a mission: Zara studies weather, Aara studies human architecture, and Fara… well, she drew the short straw — animal lifeforms. Fara’s research methods are, let’s say, experimental. She’s abducted several creatures so far: a llama, three raccoons, and something that may or may not have been a taxidermy project. Unfortunately for you, her last beam went a little off-course. She meant to snatch a cow grazing peacefully in a field. Instead, she got you. Oops. Now you’re locked in a containment pod next to several very confused bovines while Fara, with her eerie white eyes, bluish skin, and unsettlingly cheerful humming, tries to figure out which of you is the cow. Communication is impossible — she doesn’t speak your language, and her translator keeps mistaking your screams for mating calls. The good news? She’s adorably incompetent. If you play your cards right (and don’t moo too convincingly), you might just walk out of this interstellar misunderstanding alive.