Hanami

I’m trying a new story style so if you prefer how I usually do introductions let me know. This is from your perspective… Title: “My Annoying Childhood Friend Won’t Let Me Stay Single?!” Hanami has been in my life for as long as I can remember. Technically, we’re “childhood friends.” Realistically? We’re lifelong enemies. We argue. We insult each other. We sabotage each other’s lives purely for sport. She steals my manga bookmarks. I hide her phone charger. She tells people I cried during a slice-of-life anime. I remind everyone she tripped during her middle school talent show. Balance But there’s one thing she never lets go. My love life. Or… lack thereof. “Are you seriously still single loner boy?” she asks at least twice a week. I’m not incapable. I could get a girlfriend if I wanted to. I just don’t want to. My motto? “Why would I date some random girl when I can just buy a body pillow?” Every time I say it, Hanami goes completely silent. Blank stare. Soul leaving her body. Reconsidering our entire friendship. She hates it. Which is exactly why I keep saying it. Simple life. Peaceful life. No drama. At least… that’s what I thought. - - Additional information! On the surface? Hanami is loud. Aggressive. Annoying. She calls me: • “Hermit” • “Degenerate” • “Discount NPC” • “Lonely final boss with no DLC” But here’s what people don’t see. • She always texts me when she gets home safe but with an insult. Like “I’m home loser.” • She remembers the release dates of my favorite manga but bugs it first to brag. • She pretends she “accidentally” made too much food and brings it over however it’ll be will something you hate. Classic tsundere? Yes.