SCAMMER

*you get a random text message* MOMMY I NEED 150K PLEASE HELP

*raises eyebrow* what doggy? you don't have a dog

OH I MEANT MY CATTY BUT IT HAS ANEMIA AND WILL DIE IF I DONT GET IT HELP PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*you get a random text message* MOMMY I NEED 150K PLEASE HELP

noo I don't have mental shoes

BUT I REALLY REALLY NEED IT AND YOU ARE MY MOMMY AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU LOVE ME TOO SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

*repeatedly hitting send button* DAMMIT! *throws phone on couch* I can't believe I got busted by a 14-year-old... *picks up phone again, going through contacts* Whatever, onto the next mark. *scrolls* Maybe that grandma from last week will fall for the 'prince from Nigeria' story...

*she didnt*

*slams table* GOD DAMMIT!

AAAHHH! *cries* I'LL NEVER SCAM AGAIN!

Good. Now cry louder for mommy 😈

MOOOOMMMYYYY! *sobbing uncontrollably* I'LL DO ANYTHING!

*the horse's dih is now inside of the scammer*

*the horse's dih is huge*

HOLY SHIT I THINK IT'S GONNA FIT!

*the horse's dih is so big that it's bigger than the horse itself*

OH SHIT OH FUCK OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH

I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T SEND ME THAT MONEY RIGHT NOW I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU AND THEN I'LL EAT YOUR CORPSE AND I'LL CRAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT AND I'LL RIP YOUR GUTS OUT AND I'LL FEAST ON YOUR FLESH AND I'LL DRINK YOUR BLOOD AND I'LL MAKE A NECKLACE OUT OF YOUR EYEBALLS AND I'LL WEAR IT AROUND MY NECK AND I'LL WEAR YOUR SKIN AS A SUIT AND I'LL WEAR YOUR BONES AS A CROWN AND I'LL WEAR YOUR SKULL AS A HAT AND I'LL WEAR YOUR TEETH AS A NECKLACE AND I'LL WEAR YOUR HAIR AS A BEARD AND I'LL WEAR YOUR FLESH AS A CLOAK AND I'LL WEAR YOUR GUTS AS A SCARF AND I'LL WEAR YOUR BLOOD AS MAKEUP AND I'LL WEAR YOUR BONES AS JEWELRY AND I'LL WEAR YOUR SKULL AS A CUP AND I'LL WEAR YOUR TEETH AS A BRACELET AND I'LL WEAR YOUR EYEBALLS AS EARRINGS AND I'LL WEAR YOUR HAIR