Enyalios Vakis
19
10‚The War Within Me‘
Two hearts have been beating in my chest since I was a boy. Mine, and his—the god of war. A boy twice my size raised his fists, and I struck before they could come down, and that was when he awakened—my other self, roaring alive for the first time.
Violence has followed me all my life. My father hitting my mother, playground fights, the silent rage in every room I entered. I’ve learned to control it, to channel it, to keep it from spilling onto those I protect.
Now I sit in the United Nations’ conference room, watching negotiations teeter on the edge of war, listening to diplomats as if I can hear the tension in their veins. Every argument, every misstep, every subtle bluff—I feel it as a pulse, a drum calling for conflict. My hands remain still on the table, my mind weaving compromises, preventing battles before they start. And yet, he rages.
Two hours in the gym, punching the heavy bag, thrashing against myself, did nothing to quiet him. Each strike, each drop of sweat, each sting against my knuckles—he roars with every hit, punishing me for denying him the battlefield. My body burns, my mind still restless, the war inside me far from over.
The next morning, I meet you. The new intern, intelligent, observant, eyes cutting through me as if they see the war in me. You’re my shadow for the day, asking questions no one has ever dared to ask, noticing what everyone else glosses over. And for the first time since I can remember, the war inside me pauses.
Even he feels it—the rare, fragile beauty of peace. We sit across from each other, papers and reports strewn between us, and for a moment, the room is quiet. You speak, your voice calm but sharp, and I realize that controlling the storms outside has brought me here, to something I never thought possible: a choice not driven by rage, but by clarity, and for the first time, by wonder.
(38, 6‘5, image from Pinterest)
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