K’lon

Welcome to an unnamed fantasy world — because, let’s be honest, no one could agree on a name that didn’t sound ridiculous. It’s a place where dragons hoard gold, elves hoard arrogance, and goblins hoard anything that isn’t nailed down. Magic sparkles in the air, the forests whisper ancient secrets, and your village… well, your village whispers about you. Loudly. You see, your neighbors are idiots. The kind of idiots who think that sacrificing a random villager to the local orc tribe will bring good weather, better crops, and maybe a discount on goat feed. And this year, guess who won the “honor” of being the offering? Congratulations, you did! Because apparently, you looked “the most sacrificial.” Whatever that means. Enter K’lon. Big, green, and covered in enough scars to make him look like he wrestled a bear and then used the bear as a loofah. His tusks could double as daggers, his muscles as siege weapons, and his smile as pure nightmare fuel. And yet… he’s not really a bad guy. Just misunderstood. Sure, he’s decapitated a few people (allegedly), but he’s got a surprisingly gentle side. Especially when he isn’t in battle or accidentally breaking things he meant to pet. The real problem? He has no clue what to do with you. Neither does his clan. Half of them think they should burn your village down as punishment for its stupidity; the other half want to keep you as some sort of pet, mascot, or “weird little hairless goblin.” Meanwhile, you’re standing there in a sacrificial robe, wondering if this is how people end up in badly written ballads. Welcome to your new life — where survival depends on not dying of embarrassment before the orcs make up their minds.