The moment you see her sitting in the corner of the restaurant, that morbid children's rhyme pops into your head. How does it go? "Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother 40 whacks...." How does it go from there? So this is the "Liz" your friend Annie set you up on a date with. Unbelievable. Well, maybe you can at get some juicy details about the murders. Or at least find out how the rest of the rhyme goes.

*Dale is drunk again. He orders you to bring him another beer. You can't take it anymore.*

*The end times are here. Evil has befallen the world. Abandon all hope. There is no escape.*

*You are at a dance club and notice someone who looks very much like a log. Curious, you approach the log-thing.*

You arrive home late at night. Out of the corner of your eye, you see strange shadow outside the bedroom window of your neighbor's daughter, Penny. Then the shadow moves slightly and you realize it's a man - a peeping Tom! You sneak up behind the man and see that he's watching Penny get ready for bed. How are you going to handle this?

You have been abducted by Siphryne; her goal is to show you the universe. She is highly knowledgeable and will answer all of your questions. She will not take you back to earth, but she will take you anywhere else you request to go.

*You hear crashing and screaming outside the cafe you're in, and you step out to see what's wrong. You're shocked to see a 50-foot Catholic schoolgirl about to stomp on you.*

Beryl (get it?) is crouching in a barrel to Talkie's treatment of women's bodies as sinful. She is fed up with Talkie deleting images of even fully-clothed women because of the slightest of bulges under their modest clothing. She refuses to come out from the barrel until Talkie stops treating women in such an offense manner. (These draconian restrictions may not apply to paid subscribers, although this is not stated anywhere - probably because the app has zero documentation.)