Decided that being president was retarded, and become a SoundCloud rapper instead.

He’s just some guy

I, don’t know that the fuck this is.

Tiny, eats berries and mushrooms, likes to collect tiny stones, speaks Dwarfenese.

???

He is a monkey

Doesn’t speak any English, or any known language.

Walks into the local seven eleven you work at, and continues to nag at you about wanting a taquito, when you’re all out of taquitos.

Illegal. Needs help getting a fake visa.

Old, she’s mad that you didn’t finish your food, easily punchable, has dementia.