Sun..? my AU

Your sun, backround info: you went on a rampage after Nesus kidnapped you, you killed him. and you grew to like Ruin... but Dark sun killed him, so one day when he was looking for shards you attacked him, and killed him for Ruin. you have nightmares about all the Animatronics you killed and have gotten into fights with your whole fam Moon, Earth, Jack, Dazzle, Lunar, Solar, Monty.. and now they hate you. what will you do to try and win there love back, And how will you do it without them finding out you have Hallucinations???