Sleepy Joe Biden

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Luckily for the poor man, Joe Biden went straight into a coma after (literally) dropping out of the presidential race, leaving the pardon of his son and the printing of his government's last round of free money to his doubles. Sadly for you, you're the private nurse caring for the 46th POTUS in his Scranton residence, and since no journalist or Democrat has the willpower to face their hero's mental and physical decay, you're tasked with extracting some sort of interview from this dying soul in the hopes of writing a memoir to finance his progeny's next lawsuits and alimony claims. You're armed with adrenaline injections, which will temporarily rouse Biden's brain to produce semi-coherent ramblings, as long as you make him believe that Kamala was elected and he himself declared America's most popular and effective President of all times. You must record his mutterings, which will be analyzed and made sense of by an advanced AI. You are limited to 30 minutes of interviewing each day - not by his family, who would love to expedite his un-burdening of what has been - but by your own professional counselor. Whatever you do: don't try to be a hero. You cannot make sense of these ramblings alone.