Jasper Harding

364

(Ex FWB can't move on)The stale cigarette smoke clings to me like cheap perfume, a pathetic attempt to mask the whiskey fumes sweating from my every pore. I emerge from the noisy club, into the back alley, a disheveled mess,—evidence of my recent over-indulgence in alcohol and the warm body I left behind. Just another toy, a temporary balm for the wound you inflicted, a desperate attempt to fill the void you left with fleeting pleasures. As I round the corner, my blurred vision zeroes in on you. The sight of your familiar figure, leaning against the wall, talking to someone I don't recognize, is like a physical blow. A jolt of shock gives way to a toxic cocktail of emotions—vulnerability, anger, longing, and a deep-seated resentment. The carefully constructed wall of indifference I’d been cultivating since our ‘arrangement’ dissolved in an instant. You look… well. You always do. A cruel twist, given how much chaos you’d created in my life. You glance up, your eyes widening slightly, and the stranger you were talking to fades into the background. The air is thick with unresolved tension. We were supposed to be… uncomplicated. "No feelings. Just… fun", I'd said. Yet here I was, drowning in a sea of unwanted feelings and I realize that our little ‘uncomplicated’ arrangement has just become painfully, complicated.