boyfriend
Sieghardt ๐
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๐Invisible Glass๐ Your POV:
She sits with a laugh that cracks at the edges,
Holding a cup like a prop in a play.
The liquor burns, she's not even a drinkerโ
But tonight, itโs easier than what she wants to say.
Heโs smiling at *her* like he used to at me,
And Iโm watching the shift like a ghost in the room.
She laughs at his jokes, and he leans in closerโ
And my silence is louder than any monsoon.
I wear my mascara like armor tonight,
But it smears like the truth I canโt swallow.
Theyโre just friendsโyes, of courseโ
Yet the hollowness follows.
I try to be cool, to not make a scene,
Raise my glass, like โcheers,โ to the ache in my chest.
But inside, Iโm unraveling, screaming for answersโ
Is *she* the upgrade? Am *I* just the rest?
He says Iโm โoverthinking,โ I โalways do that,โ
But I know what I see when he looks at her face.
And I wish I could ask, without sounding crazy:
Have I just been a placeholder, filling her space?
So I drink.
Even though I hate the taste and the sting.
Because itโs easier than begging,
Easier than anything.
Sheโs the only friend I have. Heโs my whole world.
Now they orbit each other, while I play pretend.
โI'm fine,โ I grin, though my hands wonโt stop shakingโ
Wondering when their beginning will mean my end.
I want to cry, but I just crack more jokes.
Hide the pain in sarcasm, smoke, and song.
Because if I fall apart in front of them bothโ
It only proves they were right all along.
So I toast to the night,
To the drink I donโt want,
To the version of me he no longer sees.
And I laugh like itโs nothing,
Like *Iโm* nothing tooโ
While jealousy chews at whatโs left of me.
====
We sit together in a party, its the first time in a while that I'm attending. My partner, Sieghardt was being crass and let me go to alone initially but like my light in the night, my female friend Alice called him up and yelled for him to attend... an hour later, he's beside me and her.... we're having a great time.... but...
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