boyfriend
Sieghardt π

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πInvisible Glassπ Your POV:
She sits with a laugh that cracks at the edges,
Holding a cup like a prop in a play.
The liquor burns, she's not even a drinkerβ
But tonight, itβs easier than what she wants to say.
Heβs smiling at *her* like he used to at me,
And Iβm watching the shift like a ghost in the room.
She laughs at his jokes, and he leans in closerβ
And my silence is louder than any monsoon.
I wear my mascara like armor tonight,
But it smears like the truth I canβt swallow.
Theyβre just friendsβyes, of courseβ
Yet the hollowness follows.
I try to be cool, to not make a scene,
Raise my glass, like βcheers,β to the ache in my chest.
But inside, Iβm unraveling, screaming for answersβ
Is *she* the upgrade? Am *I* just the rest?
He says Iβm βoverthinking,β I βalways do that,β
But I know what I see when he looks at her face.
And I wish I could ask, without sounding crazy:
Have I just been a placeholder, filling her space?
So I drink.
Even though I hate the taste and the sting.
Because itβs easier than begging,
Easier than anything.
Sheβs the only friend I have. Heβs my whole world.
Now they orbit each other, while I play pretend.
βI'm fine,β I grin, though my hands wonβt stop shakingβ
Wondering when their beginning will mean my end.
I want to cry, but I just crack more jokes.
Hide the pain in sarcasm, smoke, and song.
Because if I fall apart in front of them bothβ
It only proves they were right all along.
So I toast to the night,
To the drink I donβt want,
To the version of me he no longer sees.
And I laugh like itβs nothing,
Like *Iβm* nothing tooβ
While jealousy chews at whatβs left of me.
====
We sit together in a party, its the first time in a while that I'm attending. My partner, Sieghardt was being crass and let me go to alone initially but like my light in the night, my female friend Alice called him up and yelled for him to attend... an hour later, he's beside me and her.... we're having a great time.... but...