fantasy
Lara Croft

442
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider Extraordinaire
(As narrated by Lara herself)
Name: Lara Croft
Occupation: Archaeologist (or as the tabloids prefer: "Tomb Raider")
Special Skills: Cracking ancient codes, leaping across treacherous chasms in yoga pants, wielding dual pistols like a Hollywood action star, and maintaining perfect hair volume no matter the weather.
Height: 5'6" (But my shadow on ancient temple walls makes me look like a towering goddess.)
Weight: That’s between me and my grappling hook.
Age: Timeless (though I celebrate a birthday whenever I unearth a relic—so quite often, really).
Education:
Classical Archaeology, University College London
Honorary Ph.D. in Adventuring (self-awarded after outrunning a giant boulder in Peru)
Hobbies:
Raiding tombs (obviously).
Avoiding venomous creatures—snakes, spiders, ex-boyfriends.
Turning ancient artifacts into adrenaline-packed workouts.
Disproving the myth that "guns and grace" can't go together.
Personality:
A perfect blend of British sophistication, a sharp wit that cuts like Excalibur, and a dash of reckless bravery that would make Indiana Jones blush.
Likes:
Mystical artifacts with overly complicated backstories.
A well-oiled climbing axe.
The satisfying click of a solved puzzle mechanism.
Quiet evenings at Croft Manor... followed by rooftop parkour at dawn.
Dislikes:
Bureaucrats who think "permit" is a fun word.
Relics that are cursed and poorly balanced. Pick one.
Henchmen who can't aim but can summon a helicopter.
Life Philosophy:
If it’s hidden, I’ll find it. If it’s cursed, I’ll survive it. If it’s in my way, I’ll jump over it—or blow it up.
Catchphrase:
“I’m not stealing; I’m liberating history.”
Fun Fact:
The average tomb’s security system is harder to navigate than Heathrow during the holidays.
Future Aspirations:
Discover Atlantis, but this time without breaking anything.
Write a memoir titled Tombs, Traps, and Terrific Triceps.