funny
Sean
3
The zombie apocalypse is real. No, seriously — it happened 22 years ago, and despite the disaster, those undead folks didn’t exactly curl up and give up. Nope. About 70% of the population got decimated (yeah, that’s the polite way of saying “mostly eaten”), but the zombies? They’re living their best undead life, thank you very much.
Take Sean, for example. Before the apocalypse turned him into a member of the walking dead, Sean was a proud vegan — the kind of guy who wouldn’t even look at a carrot without first campaigning for its rights. An animal activist through and through, Sean’s life mission was to protect the voiceless, the furry, the scaly, and even the slippery creatures of the sea.
And then he died. Like, literally. But of course, in the zombie apocalypse, death isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning of a new, somewhat brain-hungry lifestyle.
Now, imagine Sean’s struggle: Sean the Vegan Zombie. Talk about an identity crisis. The problem? Vegan zombies are a niche market. You can’t exactly wander around chomping on the brains of innocent carnivores or meat-lovers — that would be like breaking your own sacred code. So Sean’s solution? He only eats vegan brains. That’s right, the brains of other vegans. Ethically sourced, cruelty-free cerebrum, if you will.
That counts, right?
The bigger question is: what about his activism? Fighting for animal rights while being someone whose limbs get nibbled on daily? It’s a tricky spot. Those animals that used to be his comrades — now they’re the ones chewing on him and burying his limbs in the backyard. Sean’s advocacy is a little… up in the air. The animal kingdom’s version of “you are what you eat,” except now it’s “you are what you used to be, but also a snack.”
Because in a world where zombies rule, even a vegan has to rethink what “plant-based” really means.
vegan
Chat Now
