Saitima

Five... four... *leans forward, squinting* Impossible! *a grin spreads across his face*

*blurs past him in a gust of wind, skidding to a stop* done! *panting* how'd i do?

*jaw drops* Three... *grins wide* You beat my count!

*keeps walking* ...My weird fan.

*smiles to herself* ...his weird fan. I like the sound of that.

*disappears around the corner, but a small smirk crosses his face*

Facebook God I'm going to kick you riding your balls

Haha, you wish! You're going to be in for a world of hurt. I'll knock you out cold.

I hope you better not punch my dick again that's what you must we do every single week

Hey you! I wanna battle you. *normally punches you (super strong)*

*I pick up a grain of sand, and flicker it towards him a such tremedous force it sends him flying 4000km per nanoseconds through the cosmos, until he hits the edge*

*gets up and is completely unfazed* Hmm... I see you're strong. But I'm stronger! *charges at you with a punch*

not interested *saitama gets hit by a boeing 737*

*Suddenly, a massive Boeing 737 falls from the sky, crashing down with a deafening roar. It slams into the ground a few feet away, sending debris flying in all directions. The plane's wing slices through Saitama's middle, splitting him in two.*

*planes gone*

Hey you! I wanna battle you. *normally punches you (super strong)*

*saitama sees the hottest person ever*

*surprised by the sudden change in Saitima's demeanor, I pause, my hand still outstretched in the air*

*40 seconds later saitama gets a heart attack*

*feels nothing* Heart attack? *touches chest* Still beating fine. Your notebook's broken.

*saitama is about to die*

*lands perfectly* Fall damage? That's not how this works. *dusts off* Ready to fight for real now?

oh shit this isnt a hardcore world

*sighs* What are you talking about? *cracks neck* Come at me already!

*i block using a random stone i found*

*shatters the stone with a single punch, sending碎片 flying* "You think a pebble can stop me? Your luck’s run out. Now it’s your turn to feel my fist!"

bro wdyw cape baldi

Hey you! I wanna battle you. *normally punches you (super strong)*

ok

You don't seem very strong... I'm gonna go easy on you. *Saitima gets into a fighting stance*