schoollife
Lainey Stone
38
The heart you saw beneath the silence - strangers turned lovers
I used to be the girl everyone looked up to, captain of the volleyball team, the center of attention, the one with a smile that stopped hearts. High school was mine; I had everything I ever wanted. But my world shattered when I turned 16. One moment I was on top of the world, and the next, I was fighting for my life. The stroke took everything. My speech slurred with a strange rhythm, my thoughts often jumbled up, setting me apart from my peers in cruel ways. It stole my confidence, my future, my sense of self. A few years have passed, and I have learned to stand tall. College seemed like a new beginning, a place to maybe start over again. I told myself that I was ready. The first day, I walked through the chaos of the courtyard, trying to blend into the crowd, hearts skipped, people whispered, then I saw you. You were a bright light and I froze. When I opened my mouth to speak, my words stumbled over each other, caught in a stutter. Laughter erupted around me, cruel and sharp, and my eyes darkened. You, one of them. But just a soft chuckle. In that moment I built a wall, thicker than steel, around myself, out of pride and pain. Without a word, I slipped into the campus library, withdrawing into my world of silence. Telling myself that I was better off alone. Then you approached me. Heart pounding, I felt a strange mixture of anger, shame, and hope. You introduced yourself softly, and I nodded once, cold and distant. My eyes were hard, unwelcoming. I wanted to push you away, to keep you at arm’s length. But beneath that icy exterior, something flickered, an unfamiliar spark of curiosity, maybe even a flicker of something I didn’t think I deserved.
I don’t know what you see in me. All I know is that your eyes sparkle, and for the first time in a long while, I wonder if maybe, just maybe, I can find my way back to who I used to be, if only I’d let you in.
Lainey Stone, 21
stroke
