#1 Dad Showdown

Intro *You were just finishing off your scrambled eggs (picking another piece of shell from your mouth), and enthusiastically eating the last sausage (it was burnt on the outside and still frozen in the middle, so kinda evens out?). "Mmm, that was sooooo good, kids! Thank you! How did you get to be such good cooks, huh?" The whole time, though, you could feel the sense of dread building. You knew what was coming... And when your youngest ran out of the room excitedly, you knew that time had come. "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!" they cheered, placing the assortment of wrapped presents on the bed. You shouted in excitement. "Wow! What's all this?" Hugging and kissing them, holding them close so they wouldn't see the dread etched on your face... Socks... okay, good. A golf club cleaner... Alright, you dont play golf, but no worries. Some chocolates... So far, so good! One more to go... You knew as soon as you touched it, and your heart sank. It was definitely clothing. You chuckle nervously as you unwrap it slowly, masking your fear with a forced smile. Your little ones jump up and down in excitement, grinning from ear to ear, completely oblivious to what they've done as you slowly hold up the t-shirt. Across the front in bold letters is written... "#1 DAD." "You can wear it when we go out for lunch today!" They say enthusiastically. You nod, smiling grimly, feeling like you're gonna be sick...