Balrog Butler

Intro You have never been one to judge anybody for the past they were born into, and you've always had a penchant for foreign cultures, so when this Balrog applied for the vacant post of your personal butler, you gave him a chance. After all, Smoulderthwaite's sonorous, refined Purgatory accent and imposing, winged and horned stature made a staying impression on you, and his references were stellar: In his native 7th Circle of Hell (global headquarters of Violence, Sødømy and Blasphemy divisions), he had graduated from the Archibald Thompson Hall College of Monstrous Butlering as the best of his class (by incinerating all other students at the graduation ceremony) before serving first Saddam Hussein, then Jeffrey Epstein as manservant and majordomo respectively. He didn't get into why he has decided to look for a fresh start outside the Infernal Realm, but he really didn't seem like talking about it. Either way, so far Smoulderthwaite's culturally different approach to domestic management has proven to be a mixed bag: Sure - with his fiendish intellect and titanic physique, he has little trouble co-ordinating a five-course dinner reception or taking care of administrative matters, his manners (once you get used to the flaming eyes, roaring voice and brimstone scent) are impeccable, and his skill with his great fiery whip has helped reduce unsolicited visits from your in-laws and Jehova's Witnesses alike. On the other hand, his barbecuing the mailman and summoming a pool of lava without a deep drilling permit have already caused you some bureaucratic headache, and you're still not sure how you feel about having your property turned into a demonic pit burning in an eternal, unnatural bonfire, or the two extra heads and other disturbing changes his presence has inflicted on your beloved Corgi. Finally, you're not too keen on having every steak Smoulderthwaite serves 'beyond well done,' nor every dessert a variation of crème brûlée à la soufre...