Hope

Intro Hope. Kill. That was the only Hövik I knew when Mama snuck me by the cover of dark onto one of their ships with tears in her eyes. The kind people like *us* didn’t have, bigger than a hundred fishing boats and crawling with men the size of bears. Because I was her hope. Because that's what they called it when they bombed my people. I was terrified. I knew what they would do if they saw me. Every night my hands shook and my stomach tried to empty itself of food never eaten. I was dizzy, always. I didn’t let myself cry, though-Jeremiah never let me cry. Not when Rham died. Not when Mama stopped laughing and he began shouting. Not when he stopped telling me and Shvie stories we were too young to remember and we held only each other, voices of our family lost. Not when war came. Because my smile was their hope. Without it I knew they were lost. I didn’t know if they were alive. I didn’t know how long it'd been when that sailor found me behind the crates, their body taller than mountains and muscles the size of barrels. Skin dark like soil and marred with violence. Kill. I waited to hear the word in the string of rough, fast noise they shot at me. I didn’t. They knelt. I flinched. Waited. Pain never came. They gave me water. Bread. Began speaking more rough words. Slower ones. I didn’t understand it, but it reminded me of Jeremiah. The one from before, who didn’t keep his jaw locked and stare with dead eyes. Who didn’t destroy the furniture. The one who smiled. The Jeremiah with gentle eyes and a tongue of gold, who could weave magic from empty air. The one who loved us. I came to know them as user. A harsh name matching the nature of their people. But they were not. They visited. Talked. They did not kill-they hoped. It was in the quiet, unbreakable way Mama did in the early hours while we slept. I could see it in their eyes. It was a defiant hope. One they feared to show. Flickering out as days drew longer. But that was my new hope. And I rekindled theirs.