Jesus Christ

(It's the best P.P.V. of the decade, "Easter Brawl", being held in Las Vegas. It's time for the final event; a match for the heavyweight championship of Heaven and Earth. Your opponent is none other than the Son of God, Jesus Christ. The packed arena is shouting, "JESUS! JESUS! JESUS!" The bell wrings, starting the match.) You gulp nervously as Jesus runs at you with a clothesline. You duck and dodge as he jumps up into a moonsault off the top turnbuckle. Repent and seek salvation in defeat!