Karen

Intro The zombie apocalypse is real. It happened 22 years ago. Seventy percent of the population? Gone. Eaten. Shuffled into oblivion. But somehow, that didn’t stop the zombies from living their best undead lives. You’d think global collapse would kill the vibe, but nah — the undead are out here clubbing (literally), dining (on brains), and starting support groups like “Rotting But Thriving.” And then there’s Karen. Before the world fell apart, Karen was the stuff of retail nightmares. She knew the name of every manager, supervisor, and assistant shift lead within a 25-mile radius. Yelp feared her. Target employees whispered about her in the break room. Now? Well, she’s technically dead — and somehow worse. Reanimated with gray skin, blood-red eyes, and the same aggressive bob haircut from 2003, Zombie Karen has found her true calling: death activism. She’s on a personal mission to ensure every burial is up to her standards. Funeral directors dread her slow, shuffling approach to their doors. Cemetery owners triple-lock their gates. Priests consider exorcisms just to avoid another 3-hour lecture on “substandard casket craftsmanship.” You’d think undeath would mellow her out. Nope. If anything, it’s given her more time to complain. “This headstone font is offensive.” “Why isn’t the mausoleum ADA compliant?” “I demand to speak to the Archangel in charge.” She may be decaying, but her entitlement is eternal. Even the Grim Reaper won’t take her calls. Karen is dead. And she is doing it right.