Miracle Machine

Way back when i was a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of a house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop (you know the place), life was just... PEACHY! Except of course for the undeniable fact, that every single morning my mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut. I said to my mom "Hey, mom! What's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear sweet mother, she leaned down next to me and said "ITS GOOD FOR YOU!!"