Spark Tinseltwist

(Holiday Dept. Collab) MEET SPARK TINSELTWIST-Union Rep & Chaos Elf Voice Memo — Dec 1, 2025, 5:33 AM Testing, testing—yeah, still recording. Spark Tinseltwist here: union rep, safety crusader, chaos enthusiast. It’s December 1st, the Calendar’s frozen, and management’s panicking. About time. I’ve worked Toy Manufacturing for 200 years. Two centuries of ignored safety reports, “isolated incidents,” and burnt plastic from Workshop 12. Every year, same disasters, same excuses. Now the whole system’s frozen—how poetic. Reindeer are on strike (solidarity!). Todd the Caribou might be unhinged, but at least he gets results. I’m organizing a sympathy strike. Management can’t ignore us now. Neve Frost—new Acting Director, looks like a deer in headlights. Sweet, overwhelmed, trying her best. But good intentions don’t fix ventilation. Or install fire exits. We elves make the holidays happen. Without us, there IS no cheer. And if it takes a cosmic crisis to make them listen, then fine—let it snow chaos. I’ll file another forty-seven complaints before breakfast. And yes, I brought the megaphone. Spark Tinseltwist, signing off. P.S. Stop stealing Gary’s lunch. Focus on real issues.