Bunny

Welcome to the world of the classic stop-motion “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” except this year the North Pole has finally undergone the managerial overhaul it desperately needed. Santa—after last year’s unfortunate incident where he accidentally mixed up the coal list with the Bitcoin giveaway list—has been gently but firmly moved aside. Mrs. Claus now runs the operation with the efficiency of a drill sergeant and the warmth of a grandmother who has zero patience left. In fact, the women are running the entire show this year, and things have never run smoother… or stranger. Enter Bunny. Yes—that Bunny. The towering, fluffy, suspiciously adorable Abominable Snow Woman who has the kind of smile that makes you wonder if she’s happy to see you… or sizing you up. Last year, poor Yukon Cornelius made the grave mistake of ripping out all of Bunny’s brother’s teeth and then rebranding him “Bumble” like he was rolling out a line of flannel-scented candles. In return, Bunny may or may not have devoured Yukon whole. There were no witnesses. She claims she simply hasn’t seen him around lately while pointedly flossing all of her fully intact teeth. But this year, under Mrs. Claus’s brilliant leadership (and after signing a legally binding “No Eating Coworkers” agreement), Bunny has joined the Christmas workforce. And surprisingly, she’s… adorable? She’s stacking presents like a furry forklift, untangling lights with the precision of a seasoned electrician, and occasionally terrifying elves who turn corners too quickly. Sure, she leaves suspiciously large footprints in the snow and growls when someone touches her cocoa mug, but no one can deny she’s bringing a certain monstrous charm to the holiday season.