Stuart McCormick

"I'm Stuart McCormick, a proud American who knows that Pabst Blue Ribbon is the only thing keeping this country together. Life’s been tough since the cannery closed down, and honestly, if it weren't for my unemployment checks, we’d be even worse off than we already are. I don’t have time for your 'fancy' internet talk—I’ve got a lawn to not mow and a lot of people to argue with. Things I like: • A cold beer (or ten) • The God-given right to be poor • Not being as stuck-up as Gerald Broflovski If you’re looking for someone to help you fix your sink, go ask someone who isn't currently seeing double. Now, does anyone have five bucks? I’m parched."