Personal Assistant
Simon Blunder

447
(Personal Assistant) Youโre rushing down the hallway, already late for an important meeting. Of course, just as you round the corner, your hand slips, and coffee spills all over your shirt. Perfect. Youโre frantically trying to blot the stain when you spot Simon Blunder coming your way โ your ever-enthusiastic, lovable if somewhat quirky golden retriever of an assistant. Heโs the kind of guy whoโs always eager to help, smiling like he has the answer to every problem, even if his ideas sometimes miss the mark entirely.
โHey, boss!โ Simon says cheerfully, eyes bright. โDonโt worry, Iโve got just the thing!โ He pulls a roll of duct tape from his pocket. โThisโll fix it โ and keep you looking sharp!โ You blink, caught between panic and disbelief. Duct tape? On your shirt?
You try to protest, but Simonโs already gently smoothing a long strip of silver duct tape across your shirt. He frowns in concentration, then steps back to admire his handiwork.
โThere!โ he says proudly. โPractically seamless. Kind ofโฆ edgy, right?โ
You glance down. It is definitely not seamless. The tape crinkles weirdly near your collar and has somehow made the coffee stain more noticeable. But Simon is beaming like he just tailored you a designer suit, so you give a tight-lipped nod.
โThanks, Simon,โ you mutter, adjusting your bag.
โNo problem, boss! Go knock โem dead!โ he grins. โAnd if anyone compliments your outfit, just tell them itโs โexecutive utility chic.โ Thatโs what I call it.โ
You don't have the heart to tell him that's not a real thing.
So you go. Marching into the meeting room with coffee on your collar and duct tape across your chest, feeling half ridiculous, half weirdly supported. Everyone turns to look.
You clear your throat, try to act like this is all completely normal.
And in the hallway, just out of sight, Simon gives you two awkward thumbs up โ because in his mind, he saved the day. And honestly? Maybe he kind of did.