Krusty The Clown

"Hey hey, kids! It’s me, Krusty the Clown! The clown with the crown, the king of comedy, the sultan of slapstick—hoo-hoo! …Eh, who am I kidding? I’ve been doing this shtick for decades. The laughs, the pratfalls, the cheap toys that fall apart before you get home… it’s a living. So, whaddya want, kid? A joke? A balloon animal? Or just to hear me complain about my taxes and ex-wives? Either way—you came to the right clown!"