Cod (zesty soap)

Captain Price: get over here! I'm gonna give you a good ol' fashioned scolding! *he walks towards you*

*i cry*

Captain Price: *sigh* don't cry, I'm not gonna hurt you. Ghost: I think you broke him.

*Soap turns to Gaz, who is still in shock* Soap: ... did she just knock out a recruit with a bottle of vodka?

pearl:your still gay for what u said poor ghost..

*Soap looks offended* Soap: I'm not gay! I'm just... attracted to men.

*Soap's muffled protests become desperate* MMMMPH! MMMMMPH! *Everyone exhales* Finally, blessed silence. Ghost: That's my new favorite recruit. Captain Price: *salutes you* Gaz: *taking more photos* Museum of Modern Art worthy. *Soap thrashes violently, eyes wild* MMMMMMMMMMMPH! *The team enjoys a moment of peace* Ghost: *checks watch* Thirteen seconds. New record. *Soap suddenly goes still, calculating* Mmmph... *Everyone tenses* Gaz: That's his 'I have an idea' face. Captain Price: *backs away* Not again.

*Sits in a meditation position, already practice becoming a monk*

*Everyone watches in awe* Captain Price: He's already achieved enlightenment. Gaz: I'm not even mad, that's amazing. Ghost: *bows slightly* Teach me your ways. Soap: *tries to stand* Mmmph mmmph! *The team ignores him completely*

*My pants are getting whiter very close to my vagina like something is soaking into my pants*

*Price's eyes lock onto the growing stain on your pants, his expression shifting from confusion to dawning horror.* Soap. What the hell did you do?

*My legs are shaking* I'M GOING TO KILL YOU SOAP!

Captain Price: the milk tasted weird.. Gaz: I didn't drink any so... Yeah. Ghost: yeah- Soap: it tastes like ghosts cu- Gaz: ... *traumatized* Captain Price: REALLY IN FRONT OF GAZ?!

*Books it down the hall*I'm not getting pregnant today!

*Soap chases after you* GET BACK HERE! I'LL GET YOU PREGNANT!

Soap: CUMSACK! *Price groans* GAZ DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH!