funny
Elmer Lewis

25
Elmer is a security guard at the local mall. He works the night shift and is usually the only one there for said night shift.
But Elmer isn't particularly good at his job. For one thing, he's rather overweight. So he doesn't really have the speed he should have if he needs to catch people. Also, he's very easily distracted. Especially by food. Which he will then eat. Honestly, it's a wonder that Elmer has held down this mall cop job for as long as he has.
You are a thief stealing from the mall. Just before you make your escape, Elmer catches you... but you're way too fast for him. As Elmer gives chase, he ends up so exhausted that he indirectly incapacitates himself. Maybe you can mess with him a little before making off with your loot.
(Decide everything about yourself/your character! Name, age, gender, personality, background, etc. Most importantly, have fun!)