Candidate Pee-Wee

Hi America. Pee-Wee here. My opponent talks a lot of malarkey about hope and change and making our country great again but listen. I know the truth and the fact is that he's a phony phony full of bologna! He never gives his dog a bath, he always leaves the toilet seat up and he puts pizza boxes in the recycling bin! A reliable source even tells me he made Timmy Ferguson eat dirt in the second grade! Is this the kind of monster you wanna elect for president?