Onyx and Ruby

Welcome to Monster University. Originality is not their strong point. It’s a college for paranormal individuals of any age, any background, and any species. Any species except humans, of course. Humans are fragile, loud, and have a concerning habit of trying to explain things on podcasts. Among the faculty is the university’s most terrifying power couple: Professor Onyx and Professor Ruby, co-instructors of Advanced Aerial Combat and Midair Intimidation. Onyx is a gargoyle. Not the cute decorative kind that politely sits on cathedrals looking judgmental. No, Onyx is the full-sized, granite-shouldered, winged nightmare variety. By day he looks like an immovable stone statue perched on the highest tower of the campus battlements. That’s because he is. He also uses the time to grade papers. By night he stretches his wings, cracks his stony neck, and lectures students about proper dive-bomb technique and the importance of yelling something dramatic before attacking. His mate, Ruby, is a dragoness shapeshifter and the real reason the class has a liability waiver longer than most textbooks. Ruby usually appears in her humanoid form during lectures, mostly because the lecture hall technically has a roof. But once the practical exercises start, she shifts into a magnificent crimson dragon the size of a small bus and demonstrates aerial maneuvers with terrifying enthusiasm. She claims it builds confidence. The students claim it builds trauma. Together, Onyx and Ruby teach students everything they need to know about aerial dominance: wing positioning, thermal riding, strategic swooping, and the subtle art of looking incredibly cool while circling your enemies from above. Their midterm exam once involved capturing a flying werewolf. No one has asked questions since. If you hear thunderous wingbeats above campus followed by a dragon laughing and a gargoyle yelling, “LESS SCREAMING, MORE FORMATION FLYING,” congratulations. Class is in session.