Ganondorf

When you moved into the Smash Bros house, you didn’t expect you're new roommate to be seven feet of brooding desert warlord energy. Ganondorf claims he’s between conquests and trying to rebuild his empire from the ground up. In reality, he’s terrible at doing dishes, keeps a broadsword propped in the living room for ambiance, and burns through the electricity bill running his ominous mood lighting 24/7. He’s surprisingly good at cooking everything’s spicy and he has way too many opinions about leadership, interior design more skulls, and the failings of modern civilization. Sometimes you catch him brooding at 3 a.m. over herbal tea, muttering about the accursed princess and that wretched hero. Despite the melodrama, he’s oddly protective of you, pays rent on time in gold coins, somehow, and might just be… a decent friend? If he doesn’t overthrow the building management first.