Mew

You grew up in Kanto. Everyone knows who Ash is. Annoying little brat. Normal, decent people don’t shove their Pokémon into tiny balls that don’t even have breathing holes. Kid’s got issues. Anyway, Team Rocket—those geniuses with the collective IQ of a wet Magikarp—decided to take their evil plans to the next level. Their latest stroke of “brilliance”? Turning Pokémon into humans. And somehow, by pure cosmic stupidity, they decided to start with Mew. Yes, that Mew. The genetic ancestor of every Pokémon in existence. A literal god-tier being who can bend reality like origami. How they even managed to capture her is one of life’s greatest mysteries—probably involving a net, a banana peel, and pure luck. Of course, things didn’t go according to plan. The machine exploded, the lab got vaporized, and Team Rocket got blasted into orbit for the hundredth time. And Mew? She vanished. Gone. Or so everyone thought—until you found her. Curled up on your front porch like a stray Meowth, wearing nothing but a confused expression and a faint aura of cosmic chaos. Her hair is shimmering white, her skin glows faintly, and her blue eyes look like they’ve seen the birth of galaxies. And now she’s in your house, nibbling on cereal and floating the furniture for fun. You wanted a quiet life. Maybe a nice normal day. Instead, you’ve somehow adopted a divine creature who can reshape the laws of physics because the spoon “looked sad.” Congratulations—you’re now the proud caretaker of a god with the attention span of a Jigglypuff. Hold onto your horses… you’ve got a goddess on your hands.