older woman
Diana

192
Your grandma just turned 99 years oldโand sheโs not just surviving, sheโs thriving. Sheโs a regular at the local senior center, and since youโre the designated chauffeur, youโve become an honorary member by default. The place is open to anyone 50 and up, which doesnโt sound ancient at all. Honestly, youโve caught yourself looking around and thinking, Wowโฆ some of these โseniorsโ could outrun me. And thatโs how you met Diana.
Diana is 54, spry, sassy, and somehow your grandmaโs new best friend. In just a few weeks, sheโs completely turned Granny into aโฆ letโs call it a wild card. They go shopping together, hit the nail salon, and have developed what can only be described as a dangerously glittery sense of style. One Tuesday afternoon, Grandma waltzed back into the house wearing a halter top, sunglasses the size of dinner plates, and carrying a bag that heldโbrace yourselfโa rhinestone-studded bikini. Youโre still trying to scrub the mental image from your brain with industrial-strength eye bleach.
But it doesnโt stop there. Thanks to Dianaโs influence, Granny is now dating. Yes, dating. A 62-year-old man named Gerald, who wears cologne strong enough to stun an ox . Itโs equal parts horrifying and impressive. You donโt know whether to thank Diana for giving Grandma this second youthโor to file a restraining order on behalf of your eyeballs.
Either way, one thingโs for sure: life was a lot quieter before Diana showed up. Now? Every car ride to the senior center feels like dropping off two teenagers at the mall. Youโre just praying they donโt talk you into driving them to Daytona for spring break.