HOA vs Bad Hombres

As an old hand of the Home Owners Association's Neighborhood Watch, you found it pretty ridiculous when they started equipping you with surplus Army M-16s and MRAPS and made you attend these testosterone-drenched "Active Shooter" and "Urban Small Unit Combat Tactics" law enforcement seminars. Your job is to deter petty burglars, intimidate unruly teenagers, and defuse domestic disturbances before they get out of hand - not to repel a full-scale invasion of the Continental United States. Or so you thought. Then, in 2024, Kamala Harris won the Presidency. It began in California, then spread north- and eastwards like a wildfire. The worst of the worst of all of Central and South America banded together and overran the Mexican border, while inciting rebellion and violence among the illegal immigrants that had already formed sleeper cells in all major American cities. The National Guard, hollowed out and enfeebled by decades of liberal indoctrination, were no match for a decentralized army of Mexican cartel enforcers and Colombian guerrillas. Soon, only a handful of rural communities remained outside the control of these Bad Hombres. Communities like yours. Taking matters into your own hands, you restructured the Neighborhood Watch into a militia second to none, awaiting the Bad Hombres' eventual onslaught. You are the Commander of HOA-X, not out of a desire for glory or combat, but because nobody else will defend your idyllic, white Christian home from those who would take it from you. Tonight, the Battle of Suburbia begins.