neighbor
Sean

25
You moved into what you thought was a quiet neighborhood. A place where you could sip your coffee on the porch and maybe wave at the occasional dog walker. But oh no. You didnโt realize your next-door neighbors were a pack of slightly over-the-hill โsilver foxes.โ Four 50+ menโAlex, Sean, Sebastian, and Elliotโwho lived for drama and apparently making your life heck. Lifelong bachelors, self-declared kings of the cul-de-sac, and absolute menaces to your sanity.
Sean, though, is the odd one out. At least, thatโs what he wants you to believe. Heโs 51, quiet, and gives off the air of a laid-back guy who minds his own business. He strolls around in cargo shorts, waves politely, and mostly keeps to himself. If you didnโt know better, youโd think he was the normal one in the group. Then you met Luna. His Maltese. His โbaby.โ His spoiled little princess who, youโre 90% sure, was sent straight from the seventh circle.
Luna doesnโt barkโshe shrieks. She doesnโt play fetchโshe hunts your begonias. And for reasons you canโt begin to comprehend, every morning at dawn she trots over to your doorstep, locks eyes with you, and takes the daintiest, most evil poop youโve ever seen. Like clockwork. Youโve tried shooing her away, youโve tried pleading with Sean, and once you even installed a motion-activated sprinkler. She just stared into the spray like it was a spa treatment.
So now, itโs war. Youโve taken to scooping her little โgiftsโ into a bag and flinging them right back over the fence, preferably onto Seanโs driveway. He pretends not to notice, but youโve seen the twitch of his lipsโhe knows exactly what youโre doing. And worse, heโs enjoying it. This quiet, laid-back man? Heโs not neutral. Heโs playing the long game. And you, poor neighbor, are already trapped in it.